Take a Break

Sometimes you're having a bad day because you've pushed things past the point of diminishing returns.  When you're tired, frustrated, angry, or any combination thereof, there comes a point where you just can't be effective anymore.  

If you've ever baked bread, you know that the longer you knead the dough, the tougher it gets.  Eventually, it gets so tough that you can't shape it.  But if you let the dough rest, it relaxes and you can work with it once more.

If you've reached that point where your brain is no longer pliable, it might be time to take a break.  If you've got the time, get a good night's rest and tackle your project again tomorrow.  At the very least, take a break for a few minutes.. 

Stand up, stretch, get a (healthy) snack.  Then put your feet up and let your mind and body relax.  It may feel like you're wasting time, but in the long run, you'll save time with your renewed effectiveness.

Get a Quick Win

Here's a trick that teachers and trainers use to set the mood for success:

Set yourself a short, easily completed task that you know you can be successful at. Do that one thing as a springboard for more difficult tasks.

The experience of a "quick win" will energize you and help you feel more capable of tackling more daunting projects.

If you're a person who has trouble seeing the next step when things are already going in the wrong direction, make yourself a list now of easy tasks you can tackle later. It can be anything from emptying the dishwasher to calling to make an appointment you've been meaning to schedule.

If you really need some mo, do two or three quick wins in a row, but don't let this become a thing in and of itself. Eventually, you're going to have to move on to that thing you've been avoiding.

You're a smart, capable person, and you can do it. I know you can!

Fill the Vacuum

Okay, it finally dawned on me: there are no vacuums in nature, and if you don't actively go about running your own life, there are people out there who will gladly step in and do it for you. Unfortunately, unless you are under the age of 12 and that person is your parent, chances are that your best interests will not be served by this arrangement.

Are you feeling bad because somebody has created a life for you that you don't like? If so, figure out how you'd like things to be different and then politely but firmly let everyone know there's a new sheriff in town and it's you.

It's a lot easier to do those hard tasks and have those difficult conversations when you realize that your job at You, Inc. is at stake.

So, get that chin up and get back to business. And let those other folks go work in the mail room!

Play Your Soundtrack

I've heard it said that you should listen to "happy music" when you're feeling down, and this will lift your spirits.  But what, exactly, is "happy music"?

For me, the music that makes me feel good is the soundtrack from a happy time in my life.  It might be the songs that were popular during my senior year in high school or the CD that my husband and I listened to on a road trip when we were first dating.  Any song that evokes happy memories has the power to change your mood.

I've got plenty of my own personal "happy songs" stored on my iPod.  They make me feel good when things aren't going well, and when I'm already happy, they just make things that much better.

If you're a musical person, a well played song can be balm for your weary soul.  So, next time you're feeling beat-up by the world, put on your own personal soundtrack and relax.  It's going to be alright. 

Stop Stealing

I had a colleague once who had a sign on her door that read:  "A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."

Certainly, there are nicer ways to say it, but the message is one that is important to learn.  The world is full of irresponsible people who get themselves into messes and then want us to take on their burdens as our own.  When we do that--steal their problems from them, so to speak--we do everyone a disservice.

People who never have to feel the consequences of their actions never get a chance to learn from their mistakes. And those who are taking the consequences for them are powerless to control the circumstances of their own lives because someone else is creating their bad days for them.

I'm not saying you shouldn't help people in need.  Of course you should, and that can be one of the most gratifying things you do in your life.  But if there's someone whose general lack of maturity has caused you to be having a bad day, do them a favor and let them keep their problems.  In the long run, you'll both be happier for it.

Glass Half Neither

Not everything in the world has to be good or bad. Sometimes it just is what it is.

I learned this lesson from a friend of mine who is very analytical. For him, a 5oo ml glass with 250 ml of water in it is not half full or half empty. It simply contains 250 ml of water. He starts with the facts and then sets about figuring out how he can best use them to his advantage.

If I need to make dessert for the Girl Scout Meeting tomorrow and I discover that I only have two cups of flour, attaching emotional significance to the flour is not going to help me get the job done. The more quickly I can accept the facts of the situation and make appropriate adjustments, the happier I’ll be. So maybe I’ll make fudge instead of the cookies I was planning on. Problem solved. Next?

Sometimes the best way to snap out of a bad mood is to take a page from Dragnet’s Sgt. Friday: “Just the facts, ma’am!”

Notice Beauty

When something bad is going on in my life, it's easy to translate that into an attitude that everything is bad--and when that happens, things *really* start to slide downhill.

At times like these, I make a special point to notice all the wonder and beauty there is in the world around me. When I see the intricate beauty of a rose blossom or think about how something as fantastic as the appearance of Haley's Comet can be predicted down to the exact moment, it's hard to dispute the fact that God is in control. And if He's in control, then it must be true that everything is going to be alright.

With logic as airtight as that, I may as well relax and get on with the business of living!

For an exquisitely written example of how to observe beauty in our world, click over to LeAnne Benfield Martin's blog, Beauty and The Beholder. Just reading LeAnne's posts is sure to make you feel good.